I had lunch today with a Hopester who has lived more life than a dozen of us combined. He has walked through things most of us only read about. Some of it was his own doing, and he'll be the first to tell you that. Some of it was just life, the kind of hard that shows up uninvited and stays longer than anyone wants. And yet, sitting across the table from him, what struck me most was his joy. Not a forced, everything-is-fine kind of joy. The real thing, the kind you can't fake after that many years. So I asked him how he keeps it.
He didn't hesitate. He said he focuses on two things: what he thinks and how he behaves. Then he trusts God for the rest. He told me it took him a long time to stop worrying about what other people think of him and to stop gripping so tightly to how things turn out. Those were never his to carry anyway.
Most of us spend an enormous amount of energy on things we can't control. We replay
conversations, wondering what someone really meant. We lie awake running through worst-case scenarios. We try to manage outcomes, manage opinions, and manage everyone's feelings, and then we wonder why we're so tired. Meanwhile, the two things actually within our reach, our thoughts and our actions, get whatever energy is left over.
My friend has flipped that around. And I don't think it's an accident that Scripture points the
same direction. Writing from a prison cell, of all places, Paul told his friends, Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is
admirable... think about such things (Philippians 4:8). In the very next breath, he tells them to put into practice what they've learned, and he promises that the God of peace will be with them. Think well. Live well. Peace follows.
Then there's the rest, the part my friend simply hands over. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). Trust isn't passive. It's the daily decision to stop carrying what was never yours to carry.
What I love about his answer is that it's not naïve. He didn't get there by avoiding pain. He got there by walking through it and discovering that God was faithful in the places he couldn't fix.
So here's my encouragement this week. Pay attention to where your energy is going. When you catch yourself spinning over someone's opinion or an outcome you can't control, ask two simple questions: What am I thinking right now? How am I going to act? Take care of those two things. Then open your hands and trust God for the rest. It might just be the path to a joy that lasts.
peace,
Nick