There’s a quote I came across recently that won’t let me go. Ronald Rolheiser writes, “Any pain or tension that we do not transform we will transmit.”
It reminds me of a cracked windshield. Maybe you’ve had one—just a small chip at first. Barely noticeable. But over time, with heat and pressure and movement, that crack stretches all the way across. What started as a tiny impact point becomes something that affects your whole field of vision.
That’s often how pain works.
We carry wounds—some we know about, others we’ve buried. Hurt from our past. Disappointment that still stings. Trauma we never fully named. And if we don’t let Jesus into those places, if we don’t allow Him to heal and transform them, we end up passing them along. Often unintentionally. We lash out. We shut down. We avoid. We overcompensate. We pass on what we never let die.
You maybe have heard it said that for there to be a resurrection, something must die. And it’s true. There is no resurrection without a grave. No healing without hurt. No way around the cross.
Sometimes things in our life need to die.
Our pride.
Our false self.
Our need to control.
The lies we’ve believed.
The habits we’ve protected.
It can be painful. It can require change. Sometimes it calls for a complete paradigm shift. But there’s no shortcut around the cross if we want the freedom that only Jesus can give.
Isaiah puts it this way: “Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering… the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:4-5)
Jesus didn’t numb or avoid pain. He entered it. Fully. Willingly. He carried it all—and then conquered it. And He doesn’t just invite us to believe that; He invites us to follow Him in it.
But the temptation in our culture is to skip the transformation part and just numb the pain. We medicate with busyness. With scrolling. With overworking or overthinking or overspending. We avoid silence. We avoid slowing down. We avoid the deep places because we’re scared of what we’ll find there.
But the problem with numbing is this: if we numb the pain, we also numb our capacity to feel joy, to give love, to live fully. We don’t just miss the hurt—we miss the healing too. That’s not the life Jesus came to give.
So maybe today’s the day to ask:
What am I carrying that needs to die?
Where have I been numbing instead of healing?
What pain have I been transmitting that Jesus is ready to transform?
You don’t have to fix it on your own. You’re not meant to. Jesus already carried the cross. He already walked into death—and came out the other side holding resurrection in His hands.
Now He invites us to follow.
peace,
Nick
It reminds me of a cracked windshield. Maybe you’ve had one—just a small chip at first. Barely noticeable. But over time, with heat and pressure and movement, that crack stretches all the way across. What started as a tiny impact point becomes something that affects your whole field of vision.
That’s often how pain works.
We carry wounds—some we know about, others we’ve buried. Hurt from our past. Disappointment that still stings. Trauma we never fully named. And if we don’t let Jesus into those places, if we don’t allow Him to heal and transform them, we end up passing them along. Often unintentionally. We lash out. We shut down. We avoid. We overcompensate. We pass on what we never let die.
You maybe have heard it said that for there to be a resurrection, something must die. And it’s true. There is no resurrection without a grave. No healing without hurt. No way around the cross.
Sometimes things in our life need to die.
Our pride.
Our false self.
Our need to control.
The lies we’ve believed.
The habits we’ve protected.
It can be painful. It can require change. Sometimes it calls for a complete paradigm shift. But there’s no shortcut around the cross if we want the freedom that only Jesus can give.
Isaiah puts it this way: “Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering… the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” (Isaiah 53:4-5)
Jesus didn’t numb or avoid pain. He entered it. Fully. Willingly. He carried it all—and then conquered it. And He doesn’t just invite us to believe that; He invites us to follow Him in it.
But the temptation in our culture is to skip the transformation part and just numb the pain. We medicate with busyness. With scrolling. With overworking or overthinking or overspending. We avoid silence. We avoid slowing down. We avoid the deep places because we’re scared of what we’ll find there.
But the problem with numbing is this: if we numb the pain, we also numb our capacity to feel joy, to give love, to live fully. We don’t just miss the hurt—we miss the healing too. That’s not the life Jesus came to give.
So maybe today’s the day to ask:
What am I carrying that needs to die?
Where have I been numbing instead of healing?
What pain have I been transmitting that Jesus is ready to transform?
You don’t have to fix it on your own. You’re not meant to. Jesus already carried the cross. He already walked into death—and came out the other side holding resurrection in His hands.
Now He invites us to follow.
peace,
Nick